Stupidness

I know I'm smart person. It's proven by my GPA got perfect twice. Since in elementary school, I never got bad grade and most of all I got in top 5 rank in class. Life is not that easy, my life has changed after I failed got state university then I postpone a year.

That's kind a hard situation but I can through that. I took course to improve my school lessons. Beside that I joined traditional dance course and also became an traditional dance coach in high school. Wohoooo, in a year I can collecting some money to buy new iPod. Not only that, I did pass the SNMPTN and got Planologi (urban design) UGM. I also got scholarship in Communication majors UPN "Veteran" Jakarta. I decided to choose UPN because my parents no need to pay anything until I graduate.

See that, how brilliant I am. But in a case, I do really stupid. That is love. 😨


I just broke up with my boyfriend after 4 years been together. Okay this is my fault, I messed our relationship cause I said "we're done". I know I hurt him so damn much, but it hurts me too. I regret and then asking him to get back together, but he said "I can't, I don't want anymore". My heart breaks till a little pieces, I turn into a zombie. I'm alive with no passion like no soul inside. Zonk zonk zonk 😞😞😞😞

And what is my stupidness? I forget to take care of myself. I'm messed up, this is maybe called psychosomatic. First, I lost consciousness in college. Second, I got eating disorder and finally I had to be hospitalized. On February 14, 2014, I got appendectomy. And yesterday (2/20), I followed him just to meet and ask him to be with me. I still in recovery but I chose to go out just to meet him. Walking by myself with hot weather and like the lost. Going so far but I got nothing.

So sad and so stupid I am. 😢
I can through all hard situations except about heart. It makes me so weak, so stupid, just like a superman been weak caused by kryptonite.
I learn that how good you are, not all people can see it. How big your sacrifice, not all people deserve it. How deep your love, not all people can deep loving you.
My stupidness, I'm saying goodbye to the one that I love so much 😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

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